The last two days I’ve been a bit sulky.  In fact, one night after drinking a bit too much, my roommate said, “you know what I need?  Vitamin D.”  And I thought, “holy lily, I need some Vitamin D toooo.”  But I’ve continued to sulk and think about how I need to “leave town” to “leave my problems” which are not real problems and I’ve been back in town for maybe 5 days…so grow up, deal with your problems and realize people don’t like you and they’re not worth your time or they don’t like you because you’re probably being a terrible person in some form and those who cherish you are worth your time.  And those who talk to you about ways to improve are doing it out of the goodness of your hearts.  I’ve also hit the year mark in Seattle and as mostly, I look at the life I’ve made here I’m really proud; I’m also torn with some heavy feelings of guilt and disappointment, mostly in myself.  We will discuss another time but such questions that have been literally consuming my thoughts, even after cyclings/butts and gutts workouts are:  When did I become so incredibly selfish?  Why do I even have time to think about being bummed out about boys?  Why do I let guys be such shits to me?  Do I let my friends do the same thing to me?  No, not really.  Maybe I’m incapable of finding a match (yeahhhh, valentine’s day loneliness) and these awesome friends, as awesome as they are, will be my companions.  I’m having one of those super introspective time periods where all baby can do is wrong minus a few rights on the east coast, but alas, white people problems.  I can divulge my hormonal angst another time.  

In the meantime, I wanted to announce cereal and I are having a break for the next hurdle of time (it’s Ash Wednesday everybody!).  Is Oatmeal cereal?  I can’t decide and today, I take this a bit to heart:


So I put my faith in something unknown,I’ve been living on such sweet nothing,But I’m trying to hope with nothing to hold,I’m living on such sweet nothing.And it’s hard to learn,And it’s hard to love,When you’re giving me such sweet nothing,

And speaking of weird, a band I haven’t listened to in probably 3 years who my ex introduced me to just came up on Spotify.  That makes sense.   

For “we” (not sure I consider myself a Christian anymore) Christians, it’s time to think about Jesus and his sweet sacrifices.  Cleanse the sweet nothings and find the sour somethings.