What he had going for him:
*His name was Charlie; please note the “Ch” spelling. For whatever reason, I swoon for the “Che”s couple just as I imagine myself dating a poor English professor who gives me apples as presents and seems to resemble Friederich Bhaer from Little Women.
*Biker: owns multiple bikes, can fix bikes, has ability to buy discounted products at bike shop for future lady friend such as Kryptonite lock, bike cover, bike pump, bike light, etc.
*College graduate
*Photographer: turns out he gave that up early on when his “business partner” “did his own thing” and quickly sounded unmotivated to continue the business solo.
*Ginger: easy envision future freckled children.
*Confident and easy going (note: not really)
*Had a good read on me and what I was about. Seemed to see quality personality traits
*Was ballsy enough to take over the playlist at a party
*Had insane hair, mostly being sideburns
*Openly admitted to crying to some song on his way to work>>> emo

What he did not have going for him:
*Questionable motivation/work ethic. Works at a bike shop.
*Has terrible taste in music: took over playlist at a party to play bad music and explained tiny iPod only fit his must’s and most important jams, further limiting his savvy potential for music. Unicorns were a big deal in 2006 buddy.
*Tutor: likes to educate me about shitty music without realizing it’s shitty.
*Cried listening to song ‘Turn Off This Song and Go Outside’ by The Lonely Forest. If you can’t imagine what this music video looks like, please watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7FS2xJ57e4
*Passive driver. Note: some are not sure they know what this means or have seen a passive driver in action. I can’t say I have dealt with one until Charlie but he would drive in a circle, instead of making a left at a light and also narrative his passivity.
How we met: pt 83 bike party
Kerry later said that anyone “would have been my victim.” That night, I was in such rare form: I had just nailed an interview, knew I was going to Costa Rica soon, everything seemed to be coming together and I was radiating positive energy and sunbeams.

I was convinced I was in love. I forgot what it’s like to “feel” so drawn to someone on all levels. I thought, “What would it be like to kiss this guy?” I felt something. That being said, I did not notice him when I walked in the room. The next day I could barely remember what he looked like minus the fact that he had Ray Ban glasses and side burns. And he wore a little biker hat and a hoody.

Poison of the evening: two-buck-Chuck Cabernet

Eventual conclusion: Beer Goggles moment. The truth was I had started talking to Charlie because he was in a trio of ginger-haired men and I invited myself to participate in a similar hair colored line-up with them. I had found the married one quite attractive in a “you remind me of the woodsmen of Seattle we women always talk about existing and never find who could pin me up against a wall, chop some wood in the backyard and make me a waffle while your scratchy beard irritates my sensitive skin,” but quickly realized he was married. Charlie and I didn’t really start talking until a few drinks after that initial introduction moment.

Texts Post Party: Direct. Frequent. Sets-up a call to talk to me about setting up a date in a week (weird). Felt super awkward but recognized I have developed an awkward, abrupt phone mannerisms specifically in a dating context (note: this was still weird).

Date: poppy at 9 pm. I’ll pick you up at 7 and we can grab drinks beforehand.

Date triggered by: While I harassed my roommate’s to-be-boyfriend about asking her out on a proper date, Charlie and I had a conversation about what constituted a date. Originally, I was invited to a weekday picnic but I was quickly upgraded to a Saturday night dinner. He knows I’m unemployed.

Memorable quotes:
1) Opening question: Tell me about life in New York. Tell me about who you lived with in New York.
2) “Well, I don’t mean to talk poorly about the bike group, but I basically found that that they were offensive, unaware of their target audience and who they were speaking to, they weren’t serious about ride…always ended up at bars…and had derogatory jokes towards women,” –Charlie.

I thought these sounded like my kind of people and then realized I am their recent acquisition as a gal who parties with Pt 83 bikers and forgets to show up on the Thursday/Sunday rides. I do show up for the Wednesday potlucks. In fact, I met Charlie at a Pt 83 party so way to be mindful about my friends and the only community I have in this here town of Seattle.

3) 20 minutes in, Charlie mentions he’s upset about the way things went down with a previous couple. Steven-Canada and let’s say Erin met in Seattle and were the greatest couple that ever lived. Erin wanted to get married; Steven-Canada wasn’t ready, at the time, since he was 25 years old. They had a really rough break-up even though it was an easy conversation since Steven-Canada couldn’t give Erin what she wanted. Did I mention Steven-Canada worked at Amazon and was really going places? He had things come easy to him and was very smart. One day, Charlie’s roommate who was in a b-a-n-d made a move on Erin. They started hooking up, casually, at first and then all the sudden they were together. The band guy also got a more real job. And then–get this–they get married. Steven-Canada fled Seattle and went on a bike trip for 6 weeks in Thailand and travelled the world. Charlie sensed that band roommate sensed Charlie was unhappy (or judgmental really) about the way they got started because he was the only roommate (of 8) not invited to the wedding.

When this tale ended, I asked,
Can I make sure I understand this correctly? Erin wanted to get married and that’s why she broke up with Steven-Canada. Erin is now married, which she wanted. She moved to Vegas with this guy–clearly she loves him to move to Vegas–Steven-Canada went on an adventure that I’m sure changed his life and outlook and you’re a) upset about this and b) still upset about this?

4) Also mentions all the jobs he’s been fired from and reasons why, including: being too passive, but now possibly being too assertive and aggressive.

5) Brags that the bike shop people really like him because he shows up on time and respects them. Isn’t the point of working at a bike shop that you stumble in drunk and show up late? It’s college part two. The general motivation to work at a bike shop isn’t because you’re the most motivated and career-ambitious person….

5) Thanks me when I offer him career advice. He mentions going back to working as a paralegal (which he quit/got fired from) seems to be his dream but he also doesn’t believe in the system and process of executing legal practices. I say it sounds like you have no interest in law. Thanks me for saying that I’ve been thinking the same thing myself lately.

6) Did you like being an only child? -Chelsea
What kind of question is that? (Angry)
Well, some people love being an only child….
I always wanted someone to play with.

7) When we sit down to dinner at 9 pm, 2 hours after hanging out:
“So I just wanted to let you know that I budgeted $20 for myself for this meal, but you should feel free to do more.” Menu is here: http://poppyseattle.com/menu/todays-thali The cheapest thing on the menu costs $26 or $28.

8) To pay the bill, opens wallet and starts counting out $1 bills. Does homeboy not own even a debit card? I offer to pay. He says he needs me to pay tip (note: I am fine doing this). “Oh man, I am so embarrassed. People say I talked too much. You know what, I’m going to stop talking.”
Pauses
Leans over the table and reaches for my hand and then taps the table. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not embarrassed to ask you to pay. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t plan this better so that I wouldn’t have to ask you to pay.”

Believe it or not, I actually understand what that gibberish means but that doesn’t mean it makes a remote difference.

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